I Love Matt Fishwick! Fiction and fun with Matt Fishwick


Short Script: The Hideout

In November 2013, I entered the NYC Midnight 5 page screenplay competition.

The contestants had to write a 5 page screenplay in 48 hours, based on a genre in a primary location featuring a specific object. I was in group 20, and the following were my prompts

Round 1 (November 16-17, 2013) Challenge 1 Entry for the NYC Midnight Short Screenplay Competiton.
Group 20
Genre: Sci-Fi
Location: An empty warehouse
Object: A wheelchair

Script in PDF format.

If anyone feels like making it, please let me know.

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News Punch 3!

It took a little more time than a week, I got into the Huffington Post for the third time yesterday with a little bon mot about the newly reformed Python team.

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NaNoWriMo! (In 4 or 5 Easy Steps)

As it is November 1st, I thought that I'd do a blog about NaNoWriMo for those that might be worried about not having a plot before you start.

I'm here to tell you that you don't need to have a plot. I have participated 5 times and have 5 wins to my name. Just open a word processing document and then follow these simple steps:

  1. Go to a random word generator on the web, such as http://creativitygames.net/random-word-generator/randomwords/1
  2. Once you have a random word from the generator, type it in your document. Congratulations, you have just written your first word. Only 49,999 words to go.
  3. Next, write a few word associations from your original word, and repeat until you begin to form an idea or a half idea.
  4. Just start writing and see where the month (and your imagination) takes you.

Alternatively, try and come up with a stupid title and see where that takes you. Titles could be something as simple as "The Day Of The Vegetable" or something along the lines of "Marius and the Magical Microwave Oven of Merthyr Tydfil."

Some of my stupid novel titles have included:

  • Donkey Donkey Donkey Donkey: A Trilogy In Almost One Part (2007)
  • I Huff Glue. And You Can, Too! (2008)
  • My Coffee And Cake With Andre (2009)
  • Black Market Ears (2010)
  • The Curious Case of The Suitcase Thief (2011)

Congratulations, pantser. You're on your way.

PS. You can find other NaNoWriMo posts on this website by clicking here.

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News Punch 2!

Just a week or so ago, I got into the Huffington Post for the second time.

And now, here I am again, making my 2nd appearance in the #NewsPunch blog and third overall. Check out my latest bon mot about Andy Murray here.

I may have failed to get on #Newsjack this past 5 weeks, but I'm totally scoring with #NewsPunch. So Look out next week, #NewsJudy. I'm coming for you.

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News Punch!

Another writing milestone was passed last Friday.

I'm in the Huff Po, yo!

That's the Huffington Post for all you people not in the know. And it's my second appearance in it, too. A mere 13 months after my First Huffington Post Mention. So it's no really a milestone as it is my second time. But it's still a nice thing to have happen.

This mention happened in a blog feature called News Punch. It's topical comedy, and I submitted a topical comedy punchline. It's like I was practising for Newsjack. (I'm 0-0-4 for this series, by the way, thanks for asking.)

You can find my piece in this edition of News Punch.

Why not have a look on Twitter and submit yourself this week?

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The Show What You Wrote – Cut For Time

Back in the past, when England was not the hot wasteland land in is now, I submitted some sketches to a Non topical BBC Radio sketch series, The Show What You Wrote.

The brief was simple, they were going to open the doors to the great uncommissioned. There would be 5 episodes, each around a different theme: Sci-Fi/Horror, Kitchen Sink, Crime/Thriller, Hostorical, Documentary. I submitted 9 sketches across all 5 genres. I also submitted a bunch of one liners for each. (As was requested in the submission brief.)

I submitted all these at the beginning of March, and then promptly forgot all about it. Actually I didn't forget all about it, I just gave up hope as I had heard on the British Comedy Forum that people were already being asked for rewrites. No one had asked me for a rewrite. But on 7th of June I received an email from one of the producers saying that one of my sketches had made it to the script for The Kitchen Sink episode (episode 4). The Sketch was entitled "Our Family History."

Needless to say, that left me chuffed. The record was to take place 2 days later on Sunday 9th June. Because that was the night of my ComedySportz Sunday League debut, I couldn't go. (I also didn't have a ticket.) But I knew someone who did have a ticket, and they were going to let me know how it went.

According to the feedback I got that evening after the record, the sketch went really well. The weekend after, I had a chance to meet up with the friend in person and ask some follow up questions. It turns out that the sketch that I had submitted had been heavily expanded (my original was around 30 seconds) but the one at the record went on for 2 to 3 minutes. While it was cool that my sketch had been included, I was a little disheartened that I didn't have the opportunity to tart up my own sketch. But whoever did rewrite it, did a good enough job to get it recorded, so I was hopeful that I'd get a credit and get paid for it.

So I waited to hear from them about the fate of the sketch.

And waited some more, until Monday 15th July when I checked the show website to see if they had posted the credit list of the episode. They had. My name wasn't on it.

A couple of days later, on the Wednesday (17th of July), I had official word from one of the producers that my sketch hadn't made the final edit. The website credits weren't a misprint after all.

I can't say I'm not disappointed that I didn't get my 5th BBC Radio credit last week.

I settled back and listened to the show on Thursday 18th July, and I quite enjoyed it. I would have loved to hear my name in the end credits, but there's always next series.

I should probably write some more sketches.

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The Ray Harryhausen Skeleton Orchestra: A Live Sketch Show

It's the 400th Post on I Love Matt Fishwick dot com. It's a good one, too!

A few months ago, some of my friends announced that they were putting on a sketch show for the Manchester Fringe.

They asked if I would submit some sketches to.them, which I did.

And they're using some of them in the show. It runs for 3 days, starting tomorrow (Thursday 25th July 2013) at the Town Hall Tavern in Manchester.

For more eloquently worded details, check out Dan Thackeray's blog post.

I'm quite excited, as I'm going along on the Saturday night (the final night), and this'll be the first time I've had the opportunity to see my sketches performed live.

Why not pop along and support local Manchester theatre.

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An Update On My Recent Writing

Hello there, unsuspecting victim. I mean, valued blog hit.

It's been a fair old busy time as of late in the fiction department. (That's what I call my bedroom when there are no ladies in it.) And I thought that I'd give you a little list of all the different shows that I have submitted to recently and a little update about each one.


In February and March, I've submitted to all 6 episodes of the 8th series of BBC Radio 4 Extra's Topical Sketch Show. And this series I've had my highest hit rate to date. In series 8, my material was recorded in 50% of the episodes (S08E2, S08E3 and S08E6) and ended up making the final broadcast in 2 of those instances (S08E2 and S08E6).

Here is a breakdown of my submission record for each series:

Series 8 (br. 14th Feb - 21st Mar 2013), 6 episodes: 2 - 1 - 3.

Series 7 (br. 20th Sep - 25th Oct 2012), 6 episodes: 1 - 0 - 5.

Series 6 (br. 23rd Feb - 29th Mar 2012), 6 episodes: 1 - 0 - 5.

Series 5 (br. 15th Sep - 20th Oct 2011), 6 episodes: 0 - 1 - 5.

Series 4 (br. 10th Feb - 17th Mar 2011), 6 episodes: 0 - 0 - 6.

Series 3 (br. 17th Jun - 22nd Jul 2010), 6 episodes: 0 - 0 - 6.

Total record:

Series 3 to series 8 (2010 - 2013), 36 episodes: 4 - 2 - 30.

(Key: Broadcast Credit - cut for time email - nothing used.)

The Show What You Wrote

At the end of March the deadline for another BBC Radio open door sketch show closed. The show will have 5 episodes each around a different theme. Originally it had a deadline of the start of March and I managed to submit 9 sketches in total and several one liners for each show. I wrote 6 sketches on my own and co-wrote three with my friend Cat Furniss. I haven't heard back from them yet (if at all) but then it is only a few days past the extended deadline.

4am Cab

This is a non topical dark comic podcast that I submitted a couple of sketches to an episode last year, but they didn't get on. (I got some nice feedback off one of the writers, though). This time out, the submision schedule changed and instead of soliciting material for each episode, it was required before the start of series 2. Because I had so much other stuff to do, I only managed to write one sketch to submit (though it did consist of 4 parts). I'm hoping that when I write anything else vaguely 4am Cab-ish that I'll be able to pop in on a pile and have a healthy stack of them to submit to series 3 (Or in the event that they open the submission door in this series.)

Live from Kirrin Island

This is a semi topical podcast that does occassional episodes throughout the year. I actually got a credit on an episode, but my stuff was cut out before the podcast was finalised. I only started working on this after Newsjack had finished, but with the deadline being 10 days after the last episode of Newsjack, I was able to write a few one liners for it and a sketch.

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Newsjack – Series 7 Incoming

That's right, kids. It's back. A mere week after I posted about my second writing credit, I'm posting again to tell you about the next series of Newsjack. So I saw this on Twitter:

And then I retweeted it, as you do.

If you follow the link to the submission guidelines, you'll know as much as me.

Let's hope I'm able to write something good enough to get a few more of these:


Good luck to you for the deadlines this Monday (17th) and Tuesday (18th) for Newsjack Series 7 episode 1.

And if you need any more convincing, why not have a read of this BBC Blog post. Or don't, and that just leaves me with a better chance of getting stuff on.

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First Huffingtonton Post UK Comedy Mention

Well, there's another milestone passed.

One of my tweets was mentioned in the Huffington Post UK Comedy section, for the first time ever. I've now appeared in a Newspaper in a good way (with regards to a caption competition as opposed to that warrant out for my arrest that sees me write this from the Tuvalu Embassy or that Improvageddon review). You can see the good tweet:

Or, if you want an actual link, with my Tweet right up in there, try this one:

Next time I'll have to have a go at being in the Jokes of the week section. Though I have no idea about how I go about doing that. Do I need people to nominate me, or just need followers to actually RT my jokes? I've no idea, but I'm sure I'll work it out, eventually.

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