The Best Rejection Ever
So, it's Saturday night when I write this. I've just come back from Manchester where I got drowned walking down Deansgate, but that can't dampen my mood.
I've been rejected quite a lot in my life (Awww!), but this past Thursday I think I received my favourite rejection ever.
As many of you may know, or may know now that I am choosing to tell you, I have written material and submitted it to Newsjack (search my blog for previous posts if you want to know more, or click here). Well this past week saw the start of Series 5 and dutifully I began to write sketches, one liners and corrections as per the submission criteria.
For Series 5, Episode 1 I wrote 2 sketches, 9 one liners and a correction.
I submitted them, and then forgot about it (if you count thinking about them all the time as forgetting) until I returned home after work on Thursday. I loaded up my email and then noticed I had a new email in my Junk folder. Strange, thought I, as I don't normally get junk email on that account.
So I take a look.
The email subject reads: "Newsjack"
Excitedly I open the email.
It's a mass rejection email.
As I've said before in previous posts, if they don't select your material for the show, you never hear from the team.
But I heard from them.
So my material made it to the recording on attempt number 13: Yay!
Then it was cut: Boo! (Unlucky 13)
But it's awesome, because this is the first time that I have ever heard back from them.
The email said my stuff had been recorded but cut for time. This can mean one of two things. At the recording it died and didn't get a laugh, or it was funny but was simply cut for time. I hope it was the second one and not the first, but I'll never know.
So I must be getting better at joke writing. Hurray. In an effort to find out what joke(s) or sketch made it through the selection process (so that I could try to write more in that style) I emailed the Newsjack Team back and simply asked. They were very nice and emailed me back almost straight away.
And so here is the joke (which I can identify as the only "correction" that I wrote that week) that made it through to the recording:
Last week we reported a Brazillian judge had ordered a halt to work on Sao Paulo airport. We were wrong when we said all they had left was a landing strip.
So what does this tell us? Firstly that jokes about lady gardens are funny. And that they almost make it to air on BBC Radio 4 Extra, and that this week I should figure out a way to work "landing strip" into all my gags. But that might be a little easier than done because I'm here writing this blog post instead of working on jokes.
Oh well, you can't have everything.
And remember kids, If I blog about Newsjack again next week it means I might have something on, besides my underpants.
Until next time,
Matt.
Sketch: M&S Spoof Ad
Hello there!
Yes, it is I. Though I'm not sure who you were expecting, given the name of the website, unless of course you wanted someone with more scientific knowledge.
But that's not the point.
What is the point is that I'm posting my first sketch here since I debuted T.S.I. on 29th June, 2011.
People might ask me why that is (though no one has yet). Is it because the only comment about my sketch that I got was that it was professionally formatted?
In one word, no.
And the many other words that went unspoken after I said "no" were just basically tearful moans.
So what I guess I'm saying is that only my therapist (once I am rich and successful enough to be able to afford one) will know the truth.
But until that time, the reason that I'm going with is that I haven't written any other sketches since (read into that what you will). But now I'm doing the ComedySportz sketch writing class again.
Hurrah!
(At least for me.)
Boo for you, maybe. I don't know.
And we all know what that means? No, not boo again you unfeeling bastards. It means homework. What I plan to do is post the sketch(es) that I do for homework the week after they have been read out in class.
The first sketch I did was a timely M&S food ad spoof because as we all know they weren't played out years ago. The sketch seemed to go over reasonably well in class (in that no one threw up or hit me, or both. Which is basically all I ask). There were laughs and I think that's all that's really required.
And so here it is:
Please feel free to leave me any comments that you have, even if it just to enquire about an unused pack of condoms I have left over from my NYC trip.
Catch you next time,
Matt.
Sketch Vote: The Results: An Update
You may recall that back in June I asked for you help in deciding which sketches to use for a competition. If you don't know, you probably aren't interested in the original post that resides here. Nor will you be interested in the results that other readers such as yourselves helped decide.
In case you don't know where this is heading, I did a Mundane Monday post about sending off the entry for the script competition that this post relates to.
Well, I'm writing to tell you that I won't be going to New York. (At least not in September, with travel paid for to attend the finals of the competition.) It isn't that I wasn't willing to go. No, it was more akin to Newsjack failures that they didn't want what I was trying to sell them.
As part of the competition, the name of which escapes me (or rather it doesn't but I'm too bitter to type it out again), I was told that I'd get feedback about my entry form from a professional reader. (As a way that they justify the entry fee I suppose.)
At the end of last week I received my feedback in an email. Actually, it was in a PDF attached to the email. But you get my point that an email was sent and somehow feedback was attached, don't you?
Good.
So I've read the feedback, and without reprinting it here (because it would give too much of the whole concept away) I'm pleased with part of it. It seems that the only part they weren't keen on was the amount of character detail I submitted and the sketches themselves, which were voted on by you! So I hold you solely responsible.
Nah, I'm just kidding.
92.8% responsible. 
It's at this point that I should say that I did need to develop some wrap arounds to make the submission not just a generic sketch show. It's a good job that I did because at least there was something that they liked.
But it isn't all bad news. I'm going to work on my sketch writing some more. I'm taking a Sketch writing course with CSz at the moment (the same one I did last year) and I've signed up for an online writing course in September, which should give me a little more one-on-one feedback (hopefully). September looks to be the start of a new series of Newsjack. So I'll be trying to write material for that, too.
So all in all, the next few months look to be a fairly busy writing time for me. (Especially with my fifth NaNoWriMo coming up in November.)
But that's not all, I'm not going to junk what I submitted for the New York competition, I'm going to take the central idea of the wrap arounds and develop it further. Hopefully I'll be able to write some new sketches, too. If all goes well, it will form the basis of my firswt submission to the BBC Writers Room.
Catch you next time,
Matt.
PS. I realise this should have been a weight loss post week, being the third Wednesday of the month and all that, but I wasn't weighed last Friday (as far as I'm aware, no one was). If I'm weighed this Friday, I'll be posting about it next week.
Mikey the Malevolent Mime
So over the past couple of weeks I've been really thinking about getting into stand up again. Seeing as the last time didn't go to well (check here if you missed it), I've decided to work on a couple of sketches that can be performed on stage.
Over the next few months I hope to fine tune the sketches and then maybe I'll be ready for the stage again.
So this is the first sketch which I have deemed to be performance ready:
Mikey the Malevolent Mime
Mikey has a bit of a bad temper and we catch him on an off night where he decides to take his anger out on the audience.
You can download it here. (Right click, "Save as" in Windows. In Mac, who knows? I don't have one. Maybe Steve Jobs will tell you.)
Don't forget to keep your eyes open for further performed sketches.
Have a great week,
Matt.
T.S.I
Hey there people!
Another week has passed, and because I was going to post on a subject that I have been thinking about a lot lately, but I was unsure how to formulate it into a blog post, I will present to you a sketch that I wrote last week, but didn't post in the vote. (Get me being withholding!).
Hopefully by next week I'll have figured out what I want to say properly and you'll be able to read it then. If not, look out for another sketch.
So without further ado, because I can't really think of anything else to write without giving the sketch away, I present:
T.S.I Sketch by Matt Fishwick.
Hope you enjoyed it.
Catch you next time,
Matt.
Sketch Vote: June 2011: The Results
Oooh, it's like X Factor, isn't it?
Except less fulfilling, less exciting and just less in general.
And so, as we pass the deadline I thought it only fair to let you know which sketches that you, the viewer, or at least the reader (unless you viewed them in your head as you read them) have picked as your favourites.
In all the various ways I received feedback, and that includes people shouting at me in the street and one bloke dressed as a banana shouting at me on a train, it is clear that three sketches clearly stood out from all the ones that I posted back on Think About It Thursday.
And so I've decided to select these sketches and with a bit of tweaking and editing, these will be my entries for the competition. It also happens that the length of these sketches totals 12 pages, which is the maximum length allowed by the competition rules.
And so here is your top three:
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Murder Appeal
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Death Takes A Holiday
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Money For Nothing
So thanks to all who voted and thanks to Jody for perhaps the greatest comment I have ever received on this blog.
If you didn't vote, but you still want to read the sketches and check out the winning entries voted by people that are not you, you can see links to the sketches here.
Thanks for your time, Internet.
Catch you tomorrow for Mundane Monday.
Matt.
Sketch Vote: June 2011!
Hello there people.
It's a bonus post on what I have creatively called "Think About It Thursday." Because, if you really think about it, it is actually Thursday.
But that's really besides the point. Most of the time I write stuff here that I expect no one to read, and you have surprised me recently by actually reading this thing. So today I call upon you to help me out a little. It'll only take a few minutes of your time.
So what do I want you to do?
I want you to read some sketches. And then vote on which you think is funniest. Or least objectionable. Or not crappest. Anyway you look at it, I'd like you to put the sketches below in order of preference.
I suppose I should tell you why. I want to enter a writing competition where the winner could win a trip to NYC in September. (You can find more details here.)
To do that I need to submit 10 pages of sitcom or script. I haven't written a sitcom, so I'm going with sketches. Below are a selection that I can't decide on. There are others that I am definitely submitting so I have excluded them from this poll.
So all that's left is for you to read them and comment. You can do that either in the comments below. On Facebook (if we're Facebook friends), or on Twitter.
Because of the deadline, and because this is a postal competition, I'm setting a deadline of Saturday 25th June at Noon. This way I have time to do all the other stuff I have to fill out for the competition.
So here are the sketches:
Douglas Adams Interview. (New - uploaded 9.56pm on 23 June 2011).
I look forward to your feedback,
Cheers,
Matt.
Bear Grylls
So I'm back (but not from outer space, just Chippenham) after my arty failure post last week. Was it a success? Well, there were no comments beyond "Click this link for porn" in my spam comments queue, so I like to think that it was successful, but not successful enough to get people to drop a a few words like those words are hot.
So with that in mind, for this week's post I thought that I would return back to more familiar terrain after flying to far to the avant garde sun, and let you peak into my head once more and give you a sketch that I wrote.
You can probably tell what the sketch is about by reading the blog post title, but in case you glanced past it, I'll give you a few seconds to gaze your eyes upwards to refresh your memory. I'll give you a few seconds to gaze your eyes upwards to refresh your memory. If you didn't read that last sentence twice your memory may be worse than originally thought. Please seek a professional opinion, because you can't rely upon a bit of random text on a random blog. You should at least consider visiting WebMD for a more thorough diagnosis, and then maybe someone In Living Colour, but not Jim Carrey as I hear he is currently doing promotional work for his latest Penguin film. The Penguin film charts a hypothetical scenario were Penguin bars are withdrawn from the market and a man (Jim Carrey) sets out on a cross country journey to find the last remaining case of the chocolate bars in an abandoned wholesaler warehouse in Weehawken, New Jersey. In many ways it is like Zombieland, but it features more flesh eating penguin zombies. (*SPOILER ALERT* In a twist at the end, it's revealed that the Penguins are actually a memory that are implanted into Jim Carrey's head as a way to forget about Kate Winslett. *END SPOILER ALERT*)
I enjoyed writing the above paragraph, mainly because if you get all the references with the aid of a search engine, I'd like you to buy me a drink.
I'd like you to buy me a drink anyway, because it's my birthday soon, and what does a guy have to do? Beg?
And so without further ado, I present to you the Bear Grylls sketch:
Bear Grylls Sketch by Matt Fishwick.
(It was worth it, wasn't it?)
Catch you next time,
Matt.
Death Takes A Holiday
It's time to check in for another Wednesday post. This week, based upon the sketches that we have done with The Rufus Effect I thought that I would share a sketch that I have written this past week.
The title of the sketch is fairly explanatory, but I hope that it doesn't give the whole thing sway. Maybe it does, bit that doesn't matter. The sketch is quite a complex thing and requires quite a few locations. And its the locations that are a bit of a problem for us at the moment.
I suppose the location problem is something that I should factor in to my writing, but at the moment I'm not proficient enough at it to be able to discount any ideas because they have a premise that is too outlandish and complex to shoot.
I will try and write stuff that is easy to shoot in the future, but until then, please enjoy the sketches that I post here.
Death Takes A Holiday - A Sketch by Matt Fishwick.
And as always, any feedback you have is greatly appreciated. That's what the comments are for.
PS. Oh, and in case you were wondering most of this post was written using my HTC phone. Except this bit, and the links.
Lights, Camera, Action!
Like I do almost every Saturday, I went to Manchester. This last Saturday was a little different, though. While I still did improv class, there was another reason for me to be there.
While there is normally a script writing meeting after improv class between members of The Rufus Effect (Howard, Ashley and myself), this past Saturday marked the first time that instead of sitting around talking about scripts, the three of us actually went out and shot some stuff. (Ash and Howard had been out and shot some stuff back in March on the afternoon before my and Ash's stand up debut. Though I was too nervous to join them, being as I was at the time pre-occupied with last minute nerves and trying to learn my set properly.)
So that day I found myself on my first film set (on a bench next to a canal in Manchester, future sight of a heritage plaque), as Ash (our ever talented director) set about shooting four pieces.
Three of those pieces were material written by Howard, featuring him delivering a monologue. Two of those monologues featured me doing what I do best. Being off camera and not in shot. They don't call me BOOM Matt Fishwick because I'm wrapped in explosives, but because I am the human mic stand. It's a fairly simply job, which was befitting my position in the organisation, as I didn't really know what I was doing and I'm the least skilled of the three of us. (Ash has done film production, Howard's an actor and I'm from Wigan.)
Howard's third piece required me to stretch my acting chops, as they say in the biz (I'd imagine. This is the closest to the biz I have ever been), as I had to sit on a bench in shot.
That's right you read correctly: IN SHOT.
While I didn't have any lines, I still had to handle props and read a newspaper. I don't like to toot my own horn (though no one else is likely to do it for me - I'm so lonely) but I pretend read the shit out of that paper.
Years from now when future generations are studying Stanislavski's system, or whatever technique is de rigueur at the time, they will look upon that youtube video as a masterclass. And they'd be well within their rights to do that. Because I was (and continue to be off camera) modestly awesome. I fully expect to get the call be interviewed by James Lipton any day now.
"But Matt," I hear you cry, "what about the fourth piece?"
Well children, patience is a virtuoso. Or something.
The fourth piece was a bit written by me. I'd done it in my stand up routine back in March, but Ash reckoned that as the rapture was but a mere 90 minutes away, we might as well make a sacrifice to the comedy gods. Imagine how foolish everyone felt when the world lasted long enough to post it to youtube.
I'm kidding, of course. My sketch had everything. Stunts, special effects, multiple sets, Ashley, Howard's hands and a newspaper. (I was in it, too. But don't let that put you off.)
I'm really proud that I'm involved with these great people, it was fantastic fun and I can't wait to do it again.
So now, I'll leave you with the lightening that we captured on Saturday, but remember lightening is never safe for an office environment:
Howard Rants. (One of a very funny series of sketches.)
Have fun, and remember, do let us know what you think. You can leave comments here, on the youtube videos themselves, or on Twitter (@TheRufusEffect)
Here's to many more productive shooting days in the future.
Matt.
