But, last week, I found out that the London Screenwriters Festival script competition entitled 50 Kisses. The idea is that you write a 2 page script on the theme of love, but you can find more information by clicking the link, if you are interested.

I had six different ideas for this, and because it is the month of April, where the goal is to reach 100 pages, I'm writing them all as scripts. I've written 3 so far. So far they, aren't great (and that's why I'm not posting any script this week), but hopefully over the next week or so, I'll be writing more and it'll all count for the Script Frenzy goal.

Once April is over, I'll be able to then refine all the scripts and submit the best one for the competition. This'll mean that I won't be on the last minute for a competition for once and will have time to rewrite.

Enough of this telling. Back to Showing.

Time to cranking out those script pages!

Some interesting stuff happened during the Frenzy this year. Most notably, the shut down of the site due to the Amazon cloud debacle, which not only brought down Script Frenzy site, but that of its sister site, NaNoWriMo. Luckily, this outage didn't last more than a couple of days and the site was back up and running in time for the validation stage of the contest to take place.

And so shortly after midnight on the 25th April, I was able to upload my PDF script of 104 pages and was able to validate to become a winner for the fourth time in a row. This gave me a clean sweep, meaning that I have continued to win every year since I started entering the contest:

I guess that's one of the benefits of having no life. So 4 wins from 4 attempts for both Script Frenzy and for NanoWrimo. Here's hoping that I can make it 5 in a row for NanoWriMo this coming November. And here's hoping that I can produce something semi-workable in November, too.

I think that my conscious decision to actually write sketches this year rather than a single full length script has served me well. There were times when I was struggling for inspiration. That's when I did the old Law & Order ripped from the headlines trick. But I think this year has served me better than previous years' efforts. Mainly because in the past while I have had no trouble reaching 100 pages, I never finished a script. This year I have lots of first drafts that I can at least work on going forward. Yes, some are shit, but at least they are finished shit, and that's what matters to me. I have posted first drafts of the better sketches through out the month on this site.

The aim was to try and write something that may be easily filmable, and there are one or two sketches that I have written this month that might fall into that category. Thjough I didn't let any idea go by the wayside if inspiration struck.

I've found this year to be more challenging creatively than any previous Script Frenzy I have been involved in, and I look forard to doing it all over again next year. Who knows what I'll be writing next year? It might be more sketches, or it might be a feature. Or I might be that TV pilot idea that I was kicking around, because I never started that this year. Maybe I can just work on that from now until NaNoWriMo.

So thanks to Script Frenzy for being creatively fulfilling and, because it's you, here's another sketch that you might enjoy:

Harry Potter Sleepover - A Sketch By Matt Fishwick.

Here's to another year of sketch writing. Perhaps I might even have something to submit to the BBC Writer's Room in a couple of months if I write that TV pilot.

Have a great weekend, and tune in on Wednesday when we reach a very special milestone here at I Love Matt Fishwick dot com! (And we're not just talking about passing the 4,500 page view mark, either.)

So if it's the last Wednesday of April, then it's time for the last posting of a sketch that I wrote this month for Script Frenzy.

I'll take your lack of noise to be disappointment that this is the last sketch that I'm posting this month. Maybe it will be, or maybe I might surprise you with another one.

Wait, don't go!

I promise that I won't post another one.

I've had fun writing these sketches. And I think of all the ones that I have posted, this may be my favourite. So sit back, click, and enjoy:

Money For Nothing - A Sketch By Matt Fishwick.

Thanks, Screnzy. It's been fun.

NB. The sketch was inspired a little by Coronation Street, so it was.

Homestly (aka the mantra version of honestly), I can think of lots of ways, but many won't involve you getting inner peace like this one will.

So use your imagination to visualise this sketch in your mind, and chant along to:

First Date - A Sketch By Matt Fishwick.

Remember, if you wish to provide feedback, then please do using the comments below, or simply drop me a mail via the Contact form on this website.

And so we kick off the first of our regularly scheduled Wednesday posts in April by bringing you something you didn't want.

No, not herpes.

Though many people have said that I am to comedy what herpes is to comedy, so I don't really know how to respond, except by quoting it here and maybe get someone else to say it. That way if I ever publish a book I could use it on the dust jacket. (You know, unless they have dust repellent paper by then. And if we still have trees.)

Pretty big ifs, I thinks you'll agree. But hey, it's better than having herpes of the Kindle. That stuff will continue to flare up even in direct sunlight, no matter what angle you tilt your dangle to.

Anyway moving away from comedy, I thought that I'd share with you one of my better (read shorter) sketches that I have written this month for Script Frenzy:

Murder Appeal - A Sketch By Matt Fishwick.

You'll need Adobe Reader to view it. If you don't have that, you can find it on the Internet, but I'm not going to tell you exactly where. I'm not your mother. At least, not until I need my care home fees paying.

Public Service Announcement: If you, or any of your genitals have been affected by the issues raised in this blog post (other than structure or narrative), you may wish to visit the Herpes Society.

That's right kids, we get to the beginning of April, and now that my Stand Up Course has finished and I'm not doing Improv again until May, it appears that I have run out of stuff to talk about.

But we can't have that, can we?

I'll take your lack of response as a no then, shall I?

No. As we saw in a previous post, I'm doing Script Frenzy. The April script writing event by the people behind November's NaNoWriMo. People may think that this would give me a lot to talk about.

I suppose it does. So, as I think I mentioned in a previous blog post, for this year's event I'm writing comedy sketches for a month.

The reason for this is quite simple. Last year during Script Frenzy, I continued with a story that I had been working on, but it did not really conform to the screenplay rules. By this I mean that I was writing a prose story, and then when April started, I continued with the story from where I left off, just in screenplay format.

So this year, because I had been trying to write sketches for Newsjack in February and March, and failing dismally, I decided that I would use this month to write sketches in the hopes of getting better at the format in time for the next series of Newsjack.

So far as of this writing (Monday), I've written 9 pages which consists of two overly long sketches. That they are overly long sketches doesn't really concern me that much at the moment. That'll come later, when I try and edit them (which is also something I haven't done much of), and I can distill them down to their core funniness.

I have an idea for another sketch, which may be a little one page, or two page item.

I also have a fairy tale to write, for Jenpops. I shall do this as a script, as I plan to record it and give it to her, so that she may listen to my dulcet tones or just delete it and pretend that she has listened to it.

There is also an idea that I turned in to a sketch from last year, but I wasn't happy with it, so I will write it again from scratch.

I also bought a newspaper on Saturday so I shall try and write some topical sketches (in the Newsjack vein) for practice.

Beyond that, I guess I'll have to just see what falls out of my head.

The sketches that I am writing this month won't just been thrown away at the end. They'll be put to good use. Last year I wrote about attending a sketch writing course where I met several other writers including Ash, Howard and Martin. Myself and these other writers are planning to film some of the sketches and put them on the Internet (some of Howard's stuff has already been filmed by Ash). So I figured that if there were any decent sketches that I write this month (and that would be fairly simple to film) then we might just do that, and film them. Possibly even put them on the Internet. So that would mean that I'd have my first stand up set and a couple of comedy sketches, too. I'll soon have a Youtube comedy empire.

So for next week, I might post my favourite sketch script that I have written in the first two weeks.

So stay here until then and keep hitting refresh on your Internet Browser.

Something fun, Gwen Stefani's former band.

For those of you that haven't already set your month aside for such frivolous things, might I suggest that you write a 100 page screenplay with Script Frenzy?

Yay ice cream!

I mean, Yay Script Writers!

Welcome to Script Frenzy for another year of thrills, spills (Though we do promise to try and fix that uneven table leg this year), and generally trying to stave off Internet induced loneliness.

What is the Script Frenzy? Well, it's one of the few places on the Internet where people of all types can interact with one another. Maybe if it is a success here, it might catch on in other places.

Are you single, connected to the Internet and interested in mild flirtations with people you'll never meet? Then this just might be the place for you.

Are you not single, still connected to the Internet but not interested in mild flirtations with people you'll never meet? Then this just might be the place for you.

Are you... (You get the idea)

Script Frenzy is for everyone. (And by everyone, I mean you.)

Script Frenzy is fun, frolics and script writing.

But we have a duty to tell you what Script Frenzy is not. I cannot stress this highly enough, but Script Frenzy is not a newborn kitten. The majority of us are housebroken, but there are one or two of us that we have to lay down newspaper for in the corner. This year we are using the Sports section, because let's face it, if you're into writing and reading this in your pajamas on a Sunday afternoon, the chances are you don't play/read about sport.

So feel free to come in and introduce yourself. Most of us come back year after year, but we're always welcoming to new faces!

As for me? Well, this year I will be writing comedy sketches. I've never been successfully funny before, so I thought that I would make the effort this April.

I could write more, but I'm sure that you have given up reading by now.

Matt.

Well technically yes, but there is more to the site than just November. Every year, after the final throes of novel writing are done, a new section of the website is revealed called December And Beyond, which is convenient give the title of the blog post, otherwise you may have been misled.

But you haven't.

One of the purposes of the December and Beyond is to help and support people who wish to continue working on the novels they started the previous month. There's also a section devoted to enable people to post their goals that they hope to achieve before the next NaNoWriMo in 2011.

"But Matt, what are you going to do until the next NaNoWriMo?" I hear you ask. If you hadn't jumped the gun, I'd have aleady told you, rathe than make you wait until the next paragraph.

I have a number of creative goals this upcoming year and while I suppose I could have waited until New Year's Eve to post them, that's so passé as everyone does that.

So here they are, all itemised and whatnot:

December 2010:

• Writing a murder mystery sketch before t'end of t'month which takes us handily to the end of 2010.
• Try to write a 15 minute sitcom before the middle of January 2011 for a competition.

January 2011:

• Continue writing sitcom
• Starting an 8 week stand up comedy course with ComedySportz at The Manchester Comedy Store on January 22nd.
• Write stand up material

February 2011:

• Learn whether the correct usage is February or Febuary.
• Write more stand up material
• Learn to end all my bulleted lists with a full stop. There's no reason to let punctuation go to the dogs. Because they can't spell. Seriously, ask a dog to spell antidisestablishmentarianism. You'll find they all probably have contempt for you for asking. But they are one of the key demographics of this website's readership, so: Ruff!
• Write some topical sketches for a BBC Radio Series (if Newsjack returns for another series - usually 2 series are broadcast a year starting in Feb and again in June for 6 weeks at a time.).

March 2011:

• More stand up writing.
• More Newsjack material. (if applicable).
• Stand up debut? (unconfirmed at this point)

April 2011:

• Script Frenzy 2011 - I think that given the style of writing that I will be doing up to this point, I'll probably be leaning towards a mixture of stand up material and sketch, to get my 100 pages. A real mixed bag as I don't seem to have any luck with trying to write features, so maybe this will be better.

May 2011:

• 8 week improv course begins with ComedySportz again.
• More writing - probably a mixture of stand up, sketch and sitcom.

June 2011:

• Newsjack writing (if applicable).
• More writing - probably a mixture of stand up, sketch and sitcom.

July 2011:

• Newsjack writing again (if applicable).
• Short story writing or a return to writing That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (though it really needs a page one rewrite).

August 2011:

• More writing of various varieties.

September 2011:

• More writing of various varieties.

October 2011:

• More writing of various varieties.
• Start another 8 week improv course.

And that little lot should take me right up to October 31st, 2011.

That's what I plan on, anyway, but I'll probably be too lazy to do half that, but there's no point setting goals that I can easily reach, there is no fun in that. I shall endeavour to lunge and thrust my way to writing and comedy perfection in the next year.

I should probably factor in some time to work on a NaNo plot for 2011, too. But I've talked about NaNo plot issues in my previous blog entry.

Do you have goals? Are you planning to sidle up to the big ol' buffet of personal challenges and fill your plate high with creative projects. What will you manage before Oct 31st, 2011?

I first joined Twitter on 13th March 2009, and on Friday 16th April 2010 I posted my 1,000th Tweet.

I joined Twitter to basically keep in contact with the good people from around the world who were doing Script Frenzy. I was skeptical about the usefulness of Twitter when I first joined, given that I was limited to 140 characters (though people have told me, giving me that much space is perhaps too much freedom) and didn't think that I would use it that much outside of the Frenzy or NaNoWriMo events, but a strange thing happened. And once I had finally gone through puberty, I found myself putting more of my thoughts on Twitter.

I found it convenient for random thoughts (and thoughts that I believed may amuse other people) that did not warrant, or were not fully developed enough for their own blog posts. Though again, some people have said that if that were really true, there would be no I Love Matt Fishwick.com, but that is another tweet for another time.

The Self Indulgent Begging

At this point in the blog post, it is time for a little bit of Choose Your Own Adventure. If reading this blog post has wet your whistle and you decide to dip a toe into the twittery water, then please consider the following:

If you decide to follow me on Twitter: Use this link and I will follow you back.

If you decide NOT to follow me on Twitter: Use this link and I will dedicate at least 12 seconds to reading your tweets before blocking you in disgust.

The Future

And what does the future hold for me on Twitter. Well, I have hit 1,000 tweets. That's far more tweets than I ever thought that I would post, and it seems like a good place to stop, at least for a little while so that when my page is viewed by those curious, it will have the nice and even number of 1,000 in the counter.

Beyond that, I have a few plans of what I will be doing with the service. I'll have to do something worthy now that the entire public timeline tweets will go in the Library of Congress in the US. And it just goes to validate the old addage that you needn't bother backing your data up, because eventually the Library Of Congress will do it for you and make the entire results searchable.

And of course, currently my tweets are in the public timeline, but that could all change. Who is to know?

My Favourite Tweets

It doesn't sound very interesting, and clearly it isn't, but earlier in the year I talked about how I wanted to blog more. I reasoned that the actual blog entries don't have to contain entirely original content. So this blog post will be in a similar vein to all those TV "Top 100" Countdown shows that you see littering up the schedules. I thought that while this seemed good enough for free to air TV, it was also good enough for a free to internet Blog.

Unlike TV shows, I won't actually being doing any Talking Heads (mainly because I don't know the lyrics and can't play any instruments) about why I have chosen a particular tweet. I also won't be limiting myself to a set number, I'll just be listing the ones in retrospect that I find funny and/or interesting. There also won't be any setting the tweet in context. Most of my postings do not need other references.

Each Tweet will be given a number. That isn't a score, but rather the reverse order in which is was posted. For example in this set my very first tweet is numbered 1000 and my 1000th tweet is numbered 1. (Because when I copied them, the numbers were automatically added and I am too lazy to remove/renumber them).

So now without further ado, here comes the copy and paste:

1. Yay, my tweets will be saved for posterior. Oh arse, I think I got that wrong. #Profound #1000th Tweet. #LibraryOfCongress.

2. My entire life has been a mistake. At least that was it said in the birthday card from my parents.

5. Hey wall, if you could use one word to describe me, what would it be? http://twitpic.com/1g1rv2

8. I'm a triple threat. I can disappoint you mentally, emotionally and physically. #triplethreat

13. Co-worker appeared in office @ 7pm. I was surprised to see her. Normally, if I want to see her this late I have to look through her window.

16. I can tell I'm in tip top shape, as my tits only jiggle for a mere 15 seconds after I have finished cleaning my teeth.

31. Is it wrong that all items listed under Health & Fitness remain unread in my Feed Reader?

41. RIP Malcolm McLaren, without your controversy courting, the Country Life butter ads just wouldn't be the same.

61. I sent an email out inviting people to join my super group, but due to a typo we just ended up having a bite to eat.

68. I was dancing at a party once and everyone around me was shouting "Go Matt, Go Matt!" Turns out, they just wanted me to leave.

69. I was giving a house tour once and pointed at the vacuum cleaner saying exactly the same thing. RT @Surefiredaisy: Well, this sucks.

80. I can't hang around here all day, I have fetal positions to get into and tears to cry.

84. This morning I watched The Biggest Loser in High Definition. My new mirror is quite powerful.

85. Apparently, shouting "Burn In Hell" at someone in the office after they sneeze, is not appropriate.

89. #omgfact I've only ever been to one concert in my life. And before you ask, yes, Celine Dion was awesome.

104. Somewhere out there, he knew there was a girl with his name crudely etched on her forehead. He resolved to put a lock on that door. #vss

107. Did some gardening & dug up a bunch of animation cells. I think we can safely close the file on Carmen Sandiego.

117. My glutes are tweaking. I think they have a meth problem.

120. His love of the undead caused an abrupt end to his summer work experience at the morticians.

121. I WANT TO BE A PAGE 3 GIRL! I've filled out the application, practiced my natural poses and now I'm off to Tesco's to use the photo booth.

129. What do I want in bed? That's easy. You can never go wrong with a Cornish Pasty and a nice pillow. #cosmopolitan

131. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am not, it appears, a Dapper Dan man.

138. Caution John de Lancie After Next Junction #startrek themed #motorway #signs

139. Entered an online comp but misspelled my name as matthjew. I think I've blown my chances of getting tickets to Hamas:The Backstage Tour!

146. By signing up for an iPad you are giving Steve Jobs first dibs on your organs should he need another transplant.

158. Catching up on Reading. According to Google Earth it is right where I left it.

159. They sat staring, surprised that the old man had so many touching stories. They decided he'd never be allowed to work as Santa again. #vss

161. Today I Learned I'm resistable. Fun until I found resistable/irresistable isnt interchangeable like flammable/inflammable. I also learned I'm flammable

166. In June 2009, Virgin Atlantic celebrated 25 years of not offering me a complimentary Business Class upgrade. #omgfacts

168. My next screenplay has a title: "The Men Who Stare At Coats" - The plot, like the source material, is very thin. #nichefilms #scriptfrenzy

170. That fog on the drive home was scary. Its a good thing that I kept my eyes shut for most of the time.

171. I have broken the button on my pants. I knew I shouldn't have eaten today.

172. I just cleaned my glasses. It now appears that all the dirt was actually in my mind.

186. I think I have invented a drink that no one has ever thought of before - Vodka and Irn Bru. I call it Irn Bra.

196. Ryanair plane from Liverpool hit by fire scare returns 2 the airport, but only because the passengers wouldn't pay £10 for fire extinguisher

200. 2010 Day 2: I have resorted to Pussycat Dolls DVD Workout. Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

201. It is the first day of 2010 and now I am noticing that my mirror has put on a little holiday weight.

215. Adam came before Eve. Eve was bitterly disappointed. #vss

217. When you are drunk... I laugh and you forget. When I am drunk... Trees!

219. It's New Year's Eve Eve, also known as New Year's Eve Adam.

220. Getting ready to go out, by putting on my skin tight jeans. Sadly before Christmas, they weren't skin tight.

225. My trip was cancelled when I decided to fasten my shoelaces.

233. Just ran over a group of girls in my car. Surprisingly, they did not fall like dominos.

235. What will I remember most about this Christmas? The Pope is not a Weeble.

237. According to the TV, my fantasy girlfriend is just a 25p text away. Despite having this TV for 8 years it still doesn't know me that well.

240. Rapping presents. At this stage it's obvious the parfum doesn't have my mad freestyling skillz. This is one rap battle I totally can win.

241. I hate everything I stand for, which is mainly why I sit down now.

247. Singing "Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me" to the mirror. So far it is refusing. Maybe it needs more to drink.

248. Tim Curry singing "I Can Make You A Man". I don't think he's singing to me.

253. Lost £1.00 on the train. I had it to win, place or show. It didn't.

256. Apparently, exposing one's inner self does not mean dropping your pants at the railway station. I wish someone had told me sooner.

269. #omgfact by signing up for an iPod or iPhone you are giving Steve Jobs first dibs on your organs should he need another transplant.

272. No. 1 item on Christmas List: Terry Gilliam Chocolates. They are beset with production problems but the end results are quite magical.

273. It is hard to fall gracefully when you are naked.

274. If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may be an Executioner in France.

276. Someone once said I had a youthful glow. Well, I did used to summer at Sellafield.

281. In winter, do menthol iTunes help you hear more easily?

338. I want to die doing what I love... Having heart attacks.

376. Just had a great ego boost. A member of my compulsive liars group swears I'm exactly like Jesus. 5.5yrs to go then.

397. In #nanowrimo forum posts I am officially no longer using the word "count" as I keep inadvertantly missing out a key letter. #changedmeaning

430. Sometimes things happen for a reason and other times things happen for a raisin

431. "I'm looking for a real man," she said. He looked at his shoes. Just then the buzzer sounded and Pinocchio moved to the next table. #vss

432. Either kogakr-njtg isn't a word or my predictive text is apole.

435. #nottosayonfirstdate Do you want to guess how many rocks it would take to weigh you down? No? It'll be a surprise then.

450. RT @rosiebunny: I left @mattfishwick used and dirty... in the sink

452. I had a bit of a drunk and now I am slightly drink.

488. Maybe if I eat a little more I can declare myself both an island and a tax free haven.

496. Coffee and laptops don't mix unless you have a really powerful blender

497. Jesus Saves! With these handy coupons from Thrifty Mart.

541. Rejected Star Trek DS9 characters, vol. 1 - Kai Wayne Rooney

565. "That's you" appears on my Twitter Profile page. Handy because it allows me to verify that the underwear I have on is, in fact, not my own.

572.If you put sexual mores over a naked flame, eventually you'll get a sexual s'more.

574. I brought my boyfriend home. #mymomsaid " #HesNotThatIntoYou. " I was disappointed, but at least I caught the bouquet at their wedding. #vss

575. Parallel Parkin - 2 pieces of cake that will never meet.

609. Marcel Marceau And The Charity Car Wash Blog Post: http://bit.ly/4dokNy for the UK Charity Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Why Not Donate?

611. Old MacDonald learned his vowels: A E I O U

615. #mylasttweetonearth Despite its name, Davidoff's Cool Water is not a thirst quencher.

624. #igottacrushon people who can spell properly.

633. zzzz# '3w!4 p3q

637. #SmithsLyrics4DryCleaners “In the darkened underpants I thought ‘Oh God my chance has come at last.’” #Smiths #lyrics #DryCleaners

659. #smithslyrics4TheOverweight "To diet by your side, is such a heavenly way to diet" #lyrics #smiths #overweight

663. #smithslyrics4AquaticCreatures "Because I want to see people And I want to sealife" #lyrics #smiths #aquatic

676. A #poem before bed: Goodnight Moon, Goodnight stars, Goodnight women, in their bras.

683. As I said to my grandma on her deathbed, "This would be a lot easier if you didn't struggle." #TCTC

689. I sat in the doctor's office with my wife. "Leslie has severe memory loss," he said. "Who's Leslie?" I asked. #TCTC

690. Jo stared at Leslie's killer until her eyes were drawn to a smudge on the mirror. #TCTC

694. "The shoe is on the other foot now," she laughed, before turning and hobbling away. #TCTC

706. Jimmy was sad that he missed Grandpa's final moments, but was pleased to hear that he put up a good fight against the taxidermist.

713. Matt typed "Matt is" into Google and was surprised by the results. He swore he wasn't gay but his boyfriend had doubts. #TCTC

721. FYI "pimp" is not an option on my phone's predictive text. 1:07 AM Oct 3rd, 2009 via web

723. Want a designer baby but can’t afford it? Take a regular baby and apply a trendy iron-on decal. Tres Chic! The baby’ll be crease free too.

725. @CyranDorman - Or at least write a Choose Your Own Porn Adventure. Turn to page 5 if you decide to call a plumber. Page 6 for the pizza boy.

729. #haveuever tweeted something just to appear on a search results list?

736. If your tears taste like lollipops, is that the first sign of diabetes?

741. #LemonSponge Really Cleans Up. New blog post @ http://ilovemattfishwick.com or http://bit.ly/gIpWQ in aid of Cystic Fibrosis Trust. Donate!

755. Want to have a soup can wrapper designed by me? Visit @ http://ilovemattfishwick.com for #instructions & free download. #blog #fun #fiction.

758. At work the lightbulb over my desk has popped. Unfortunately this means I can’t have any new ideas until it is replaced.

761. Watched the Retweet channel last night, sorry I mean Dave 4:21 PM Sep 13th, 2009 via web

768. 53 get ups until #nanowrimo. in exercise terms that's 53 situps! 6:57 PM Sep 8th, 2009 via web

770. With great powder comes a reduced chance of chafing. 6:53 PM Sep 8th, 2009 via web

771. With great power comes a great big electricity bill.

781. #rememberwhen I was #pertinent?

785. Big day today! Got a Hare Krishna leaflet and a @jensenwilder business card. I'm unsure as to whether @jensenwilder is my God now...

799. One of my #teeth is chipped. Next time it should really be boiled, because it is healthier.

820. Either the lines between fact and fiction really have blurred, or my glasses need cleaning...

863. The computer is a tool. But then it probably doesn't think much of me either.

864. #newbandname #pilates for #pirates.

887. #Celebrating the 2nd #anniversary of my 25th #birthday

888. People call me a one man band, mainly because I have #cymbals strapped to my knees.

897. #spoiler #alert Tomorrow is #Monday.

928. #Idea for a #lowerback #tattoo (really small letters): If you can read this, you’d better buy me #breakfast. (and it must include hashtag)

936. The #Kindle will never replace the book. When you're caught short in the woods the #kindle is only good for two wipes. Maximum.

943. I knew #MichaelJackson would find a way out of those London gigs

949. wearing a sticker that says "Pink Lady" but only because I couldn't find an apple marked "T-Bird"

972. -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. .

983. Results just in! I'm not pregnant, though peeing on that stick was fun.

986. 101 pages = #scriptfrenzy weiner, I mean winner!

992. #scriptfrenzy. I've just figured out how to see people replying to me. Sorry for the non responses. I love being a luddite

1000. is disappointing you.

Until next time,

Matt.

Unlike last year's 1st Anniversary Post where I simply showed "Best Of" clips of the posts from that previous year, this year I thought that I would take a look back at my goals and aspirations that I set for myself and update you on them, as we approach the anniversary, 2010 is one quarter over with. So away we go:

Goal One
I need to lose weight. I have to. I have a goal in mind and if this doesn’t make me lose weight nothing will. If the weight stays I am well and truly fucked. I have enough problems that I can’t control and if I can’t beat this one that’s of my own making then, well who knows? This includes exercising more. And when I say more, I mean exercise. I bought a damn bike. It’s just sitting there. In 2010 it will be used.

Yep, well, ahem. I was doing really well, (I had lost half a stone / 7lb / 3kg, exercising and eating right) but then it all went tits up when I hurt my knee. Then my knee got better, or so I thought and I started exercising again, but then I hurt it again, so I have gained all the weight that I had previously lost and I'm back to where I started again. But I'm just in the middle a course of anti-inflamatory medication and hopefully in another two weeks I will be back to where I was before and will be able to start again. I don't know whether to publish what I weigh on here, my fingers keep moving across the keyboard but they aren't going anywhere near the number pad, so I guess you'll miss out on finding out. Unless of course you decide to look elsewhere on the web where I have written about my struggles.

Goal Two
Write more. I want to finish my online story. I have set myself a mini goal of end of March. Because of goal three. There are also a few things that I also want to try writing wise. I have how to books. It may well be time to read them.

Well, since I wrote this goal I have written Chapter 11 of my online story and that is it. Having the break from it and doing a different story for NaNoWriMo, was a bad idea for this story. I just couldn't seem to get back in the flow in December and January. February was a real struggle but I got it done, and March I just lost motivation. I found myself thinking more and more about the first novel I ever wrote. It isn't to say that I shouldn't have done NaNoWriMo, as I learned some valuable lessons from it and was, shock horror, able to complete a, albeit shoddy, first draft. I think I am just one of those people that needs a kick in the pants to actually focus and knuckle down and write.

Goal Three
For Script Frenzy (April 2010) I will convert the online story into a screenplay. If the story is not done I will not participate. For the past 2 years I have participated and written crap. I know that I can write 100 pages of crap. There is no challenge in that any more. I need to be able to successfully create a screenplay that has a beginning, a middle and an end. Even if it is one that I already now the outcome and it is just a case of putting the story to screenplay format. Then in 2011, I can think about doing one from scratch with a detailed plot.

Well, as you know from reading chapter 11, the story has not finished. And I did agonise of this (and I hear you say, "Why? It's crap") but after talking it through with a friend I decided that because I was struggling so much with the story in prose, that I could continue the story in screenplay format from the start of what would have been chapter 12 and then if I get to the end of the story before the end of April, I can come back and adapt the first 11 chapters into the screenplay. So on Thursday I will start the screenplay at the Script Frenzy 2010 Write-in, to be held at the Egg, Liverpool. If you're there say hello.

Goal Four
Mystery goal. If you wish to know about this one, you’ll have to buy me dinner first.

This is progressing nicely, well I hope. I have made further steps forward and I am currently awaiting responses. So that I can initiate the final phase.

Goal Five
Get to Liverpool more to see my friends. Until they get sick of me that is.

Well, I went to a meeting in January (13th I believe it was) at The Egg and I will be going to the write-in on Thursday (which I have taken the day off for). I hope to get to Liverpool a few more times in April and then at the end of April (30th) I shall be attending the Rathole Radio Live Gig in Liverpool, hosted by Dan (who I met through Script Frenzy in 2009). I think several of the NaNoWrimo/Script Frenzy group are going so it should be fun. If you are going and see me there, say hi. I won't bite, but I may puke on your shoes depending upon how much I have had to drink.

Goal Six
Plan a proper novel for NaNoWriMo 2010. Oooh. Actual Plots and knowing the beginning and ending before I start. And cliffhangers, too! How will I cope?

Well, if all goes to plan in April, I will know how "That Joke Isn't Funny Any More" ends and I will be using May/June to write chapter 12 through to the end. Once July arrives I will then start to plan my NaNoWriMo 2010 entry.

Goal Seven
Meet more people. This will be really difficult for me. Anyone who knows me in real life knows how really shy I am around people I don’t know or don’t know that well.

I am still shy but I'm trying. I'm going to a gig, something which I never would have dreamed of several years ago. And I've signed up for a course starting May 1st that should hopefully make me more outgoing and not frightened of people. We'll see what happens.

Goal Eight
Be a better person. I don’t exactly know what this entails, but I know I’m not good enough the way I am.

I have signed up for a course, really I have. You may think that I was drunk when I wrote Goal Eight, but I wasn't.

Goal Nine
Be more confident. (I’ll have to wipe the dust off of that CD)

I have signed up for a course, I am going to a gig (at which I will try not to puke on anyone's shoes) and I have listened to that CD.

Goal Ten
Start smoking and then quit smoking. If I only manage 50% of this then at least I won’t have to worry about a pension any more.

Two packs a day, bitches! Well, not really. So I should start putting money in my pension.

Goal Eleven *new*
Start writing more blog posts, because I know you're all dying to hear about my life (if my total blog hits of 1695 [since Aug 2009] are any indication). Even if it isn't fiction writing that I am doing, blogging more will at least mean that I'm writing and not out and about being a threat to society.

We will see how Goal Eleven develops, most probably it will be like a blurred photograph with quality control sticker right in the centre.

Thus concludes the Second Anniversary Craptacular. Who knows what hilarity will happen here before the Third Anniversary (other than me having to renew my domain).

Check back soon for more updates or to see that I have failed in my own promises.