Pre Gig Thoughts:
(written Saturday 20th April 2013)
This is a spot on an open mic night "Cat On The Jam." It's the very first night that they are running at this venue. I believe it will be like a comedy centric version of Down The Rabbit Hole. Will be doing some short form games and I also think I may be participating in some improvised songs.

Show Format:
Just a few short form games. Here's the set list.

The Gig Build Up:
First time at the venue. I arrived in Coventry and spotted another of the evening's performers, Songster Matthew Dibbens Esquire, heading over to the venue. As he had a better grasp of Coventry geography, I followed him like the sexy little lamb that I am. On the way to the venue we were even spotted by an audience member from our monthly Esquires Gig, who said "hi" to us. Fame at last. And on the streets of Coventry, no less.

The Gig Itself:
Sarah suggested that we form our own 2 person improv team, M&S improv (the finest improv) for family friendly audiences and S&M improv (for audiences that weren't that family friendly, or that brought along props with them.)

We were the last act of the night, and we were billed as Wow Impro. (Headliners!)

The bill included:
Matthew Dibbens performing some comedy songs, Inigo performing poetry, Lorcan Mullan performing stand up and two further stand ups (one was Michael Kahinde and the other persons name escpes me.) It was hosted jointly by Rich Coad and Rich Baldwin. It was a fun night.

And now for the Wow Impro Set:

GAME 1: "TWO HEADED INTERVIEW"
Sarah and I were applying to be a Dinosaur Rider with Rich Baldwin interviewing us. Fun.

GAME 2: "PLAYBOOK"
Sarah read from a play while I improvised with her. The suggestion was sausage, which soon moved on to talking about a child due to the nature of the dialogue that was contained in the text that Sarah was reading from. I can't remember the name of the play.

GAME 3: "CHANGE"
Sarah and I did a scene set in the Kahawa Cafe. I believe that we ended up trying to name our previously unnamed nine year old child. It was fun, but I don't really remember much else.

GAME 4: "HEY YOU DOWN THERE!"
Rich Baldwin provided the narration to the 1950s style instructional video on how to use your bathroom that Sarah and I were acting out using mime. I don't remember much beyond waving my hands in the air like I just didn't care.

GAME 5: "ARMS THROUGH"
Rich Coad (with arms provided by Sarah) came to me for a job interview because he needed money as he hadn't eaten since the day before. Despite this, he managed to throw up over the floor, which I made him clean up with a broom as part of his interview. Which he then stole to sell on eBay. I believe that at one point I even gave him a fiver for his asthma inhaler. Lot of fun.

GAME 6: "ACCENTS"
Sarah, along with Matthew Dibbens and Rich Coad did a scene about Dibbens trying to hide his lottery win from his wife and son. Accents used include, South Africa, French, Brummie, Liverpool and several more. (Which I can't remember!). The crowd loved this game.

GAME 7: "DEATH IN A MINUTE"
Sarah and Ric Baldwin were a couple who returned home to find the lights not working and me trying to rob their house. In the struggle, Sarah killed me with the suggested item of a lamp shade. We replayed this at double speed, backwards, as a badly dubbed chinese film (where I didn't die, because Rich told me to take the DVD player for the good of the country) and finally Rich Baldwin replayed the scene playing all the roles himself. Fun.

Post Gig Thoughts:
I enjoyed doing the gig, the audience were a bit quiet at the start of the improv set, but warmed up during the rest of the games. (I think many of them hadn't seen improv before.) I look forward to doing more gigs there in the future.

On to the next gig!

Will you be there? Check my calendar to find our where I'm performing next.

It's Mundane Monday again.

This past few weeks I have been rewatching one of the greatest sitcoms of all time.

That's right. It's Cheers. This past Friday, I finished rewatching the Diane Chambers era. (The set is handily divided into seasons 1-5 and 6-11). Now it is time to spend a while with Rebecca Howe.

Pre Gig Thoughts:
(written Wednesday 10th April 2013)
I really like this gig. Attendence was down at the last one (I hink it's due to all the rubbish weather). Here's hoping for a full house.

Show Format:
Much like last time, this will be a straight forward gig without any competition elements.

The Gig Build Up:
I arrived in Coventry, Had something to eat, met up with Rich Coad and Sarah and went over the games that would be played during the show. Here's the set list:

(Apologies for the blurred images. Not sure what was up. I've taken a photo since and it appears to be fine.)

The Gig Itself:

Not a spare seat in the house. Nice.

First Half

GAME 1: "Story, Story, Die!"
Featuring Everyone with Rich Coad directing the story.
The story was about finding a bicycle in your pocket and going on an adventure up a mountain. I was eliminated first, followed by Dibbo, Sarah, Rich Baldwin and the winner was Lorcan.

GAME 2: "Questions Only"
Featuring Everyone.
The suggestion was head gardener.

GAME 3: "Emotional Taxi"
Featuring Sarah as the driver, Fishwick, Baldwin and Dibbens.
Sarah (Joy) picked up passengers Fishwick (Fear), Baldwin (Indifference), and Dibbens (Angry). The Taxi didn't actually move. Fun game.

GAME 4: "Change"
Featuring: Lorcan & Baldwin
Lorcan had been on a date with Baldwin's Mum and he had to deal with the fallout.

GAME 5: "One Voice"
Featuring Fishwick interviewing Sarah and Dibbens as a singer eager (speaking the same things at the same time) to join an opera company. To make things harder on them, I made them sing and dance. I think I heard that someone has recorded this game, so if I find it, I will post the link.

GAME 6: "Lines Of Dialogue"
Featuring Everyone.
Evil genius Lorcan and his sidekick / wannabe equal partner (Fishwick) had created hybrid rat dinosaurs (played by Coad, Baldwin and Sarah) who they summoned to defeat their nemesis (Dibbens). At some point during this game, we were interrupted by the loud speaker from the attached Transport Museum were a party was taking place. These interruptions happened throughout the rest of the night.

GAME 7: "Freeze Tag"
Featuring Everyone.
Because the night was running faster than planned, we threw in a game of freeze tag.

GAME 8: "Superheroes"
Featuring Coady, Baldwin, and Sarah.
Boils Eggs with his thoughts man (Baldwin) had to contend with the world being without stripey jumpers. Aided by his trusty sidekicks, Angora Goat Girl (Sarah) and Felt Tip Pen Man (I think) (played by Rich Coad).

Second Half

GAME 9: "Meanwhile" (aka Scenes You Would Like To See)
Featuring Everyone.
Some good scenes. I boiled the last dodo alive.

GAME 10: "ABC"
Featuring Baldwin and Lorcan.
Two scientists created a new element.

GAME 11: "Action Replay"
Featuring Dibbens, Lorcan and Fishwick.
The suggestion was metal detector. A Man with a metal detector (Dibbens) was trying to find treasure, but was killed when the other two thought they detected treasure in his chest. We replayed this ultra fast, then in slow mo, and in a couple of other ways that escape right now.

GAME 12: "Playbook"
Featuring Coady and Sarah (reading dialogue from a play, the name of which escapes me)
Coady had to hid a present that he had bought his mother (Sarah) for her birthday.

GAME 13: "Bend Sit Stand"
Featuring Lorcan, Dibbens and Fishwick.
The suggestion was Red.
Lorcan was a boxer who was being given a pep talk during the fight by his trainer (Fishwick) and his father (Dibbens).

GAME 14: "Poet Translator"
Sarah delivered a poem that was translated to English by Baldwin.
I can't remember any details of the poem, sorry, but it was very funny.

GAME 15: "Guess The Job"
Sarah guessing her new job with an assist from Coad with everyone else providing clues. Sarah was a Librarian who loaned out pizza toppings in zero gravity on Valentine's Day while dressed in Ballet Attire.

Post Gig Thoughts:
I enjoyed the show. It was a lot of fun. More like this please.

On to the next gig!

Will you be there? Check my calendar to find our where I'm performing next.

I was looking through some boxes of stuff in preparation of decorating and I found this:

That's right, it is the handout from my very first improv course with ComedySportz from May 1st, 2010.

Doesn't time fly!

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

1. Q. Which fairytale character loves wordplay?
   A. RaPUNzel.
2. You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. (The truth is currently in gaseous form.)
3. There's the Right Way, and then there's the Wright Way.

I also wrote this sketch:

Cop: "I'm arresting you for manslaughter."
Clown: "Don't you mean man's laughter?" *chuckles to himself*
Cop: "No."
*Cop beats clown to death with his own oversized shoe.*
Cop 2: (laughing) "Stop it, you're killing me."
*Cop 2 slaps thigh and dies*

***

And this poem advertising tonight's improv gig:

7pm Friday night,
Going out on the town? Then do it right,
The good folks at Wow Impro,
Are doing a FREE 2hr Family Friendly Improv Show.

Fun whether you have a family or no,
Maybe you're thinking of starting one tomorrow. (Laughter is an aphrodisiac.)

Bring a friend. Bring a mate,
Pop along while you're on a date.

Offer a suggestion and watch us go,
It's your improv pals at Wow Impro.

Come to Esquires Coffee Coventry and watch with delight,
Because every 2nd Friday of the month is "On The Spot" Improv Night.

Want more info? Do not fear,
Click this little weblink here.

***

See you next week for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

The first show will be this Friday, 10th May 2013 in Coventry. Wow Impro will be doing a full 2 hour show at Esquires Coffee House. 7PM. FREE. Details here.

The second show will be Wednesday 29th May 2013 in Coventry. Wow Impro will be doing a 20 minute set at Cat On The Jam Comedy Night at Kahawa Cafe. 7.30PM. FREE. Details here.

Looking forward to seeing you all there.

Not only is it a Bank Holiday, but it is also the 100th Mundane Monday post. (Check the URL link if you don't believe me.) And, you catch me at a cross roads.

I'm on the cusp of realising my dream of remaking Jim Carrey's The Mask in a Roger Corman-esque fashion.

For I now have:

The Mask!

And not just any Mask, but a pickled onion mask. It's going to totally change the subtext of the movie.

Over the next few weeks, I will continue to scour the Supermarket snack food isles in the hopes of finding more props for my pet project.

PS. In my remake, the Stanley Ipkiss role will be going to my pet hamster. (He's size appropriate for the mask, and he's not a diva like my parrot.)

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

1. Q. What's Vanilla Ice's favourite lunchtime menu item?
   A. Ninja Wrap.
2. Dear future guest of Travelodge Room 31,
   I dropped a chip behind the desk and can't reach it to pick it up. But you're resourceful, you can do it (as I've often heard said in Adam Sandler movies), and the reward for when you do, is saving yourself £4.50 on the Breakfast Box.
   Sincerely,
   A lazy former guest.
3. I was cut out of Iron Man 3. It's a good job that suit had airbags.
4. A mate hates that my dog was being awesome on his carpet. So I'm rubbing his face in it.
5. Happy International Jazz Day, Everyone. A day that reminds me I'm not unique. Or musical. *Jazz Hands*
   This also happens on International Preston Day. *Preston Hands*
6. Q. Why does Luis Suárez hate going in hospital?
   A. Because he has to go Nil By Mouth.
7. I've just been followed by a guy who only follows 121,449 other people.
   I think he could be THE ONE.
   *Swoon*
8. #RejectedCerealMascots: Snap, Crackle and Pope.
9. My mind is buzzing. I hate thinking about bees.
10. Sometimes I like to drink a SlimFast shake and then take an ice cold shower to give a flashforward of what the after picture will look like. In the future, my penis is a lot slimmer.
11. I mentioned the word "penis" on Twitter, and now I'm being followed by loads of eligible young ladies who want me to look at their nude photos.
    This works in real life too, right?
    If not, I might need to call you later, so don't splurge that bail money on shoes just yet.
12. Sometimes, in an effort to sex things up, I'll sing an Enrique Iglesias song while I Optrex my own eye.
13. Either it is really cold in this office, or my nipples are really angry this morning.
14. In the next episode of Coronation Street, Ken goes to visit Kevin in Germany.
15. If Mike Baldwin were alive today, he'd have a field day.
16. I've declined an invitation to a smart dress event. My Donna Karan can't even make phone calls.
17. I went for a run with a fax machine. Now I'm well toned.
18. I've sent an email around the office saying that I've finished with the printer. I don't care if the printer wants to apologise. Too little. Too late.
19. All the ill-judged actions in the 1960s brings all the boys from The Yard.
20. "Where do you see yourself in five years' time?"
    "Don't know."
    "I'm sorry, sir. I'm afraid we can't hire you to be our new clairvoyant."
21. Q. What's a dog's favourite type of drinking glass?
    A. A Snifter.
22. I'm going to bed. You may now dream about me. I know I will.
23. My foot's asleep. I wish I could join it.
24. Tonight was the end of financial year party meal thing at work. In an effort to be more social, I'm over 100 miles away watching Cheers Season 2 on DVD.
    I Wendt where everyone knows my name!

See you next week for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

You can see the first and second entries in the series by clicking on the appropriate links.

So what have I achieved in the past year since I wrote the second entry in the series?

• I've been paid money by the BBC and my jokes have been featured on the radio a further 3 times. (And I've had another "cut for time" email.)
• I've had a joke on another podcast, Kirrin Island Episode 4.
• I was longlisted for a script writing competition. (50 Kisses).
• I've continued to perform improv shows, unleashing myself on the audience with the good folks of Wow Impro.
• Co-established the sketch / improv group Beware The Gnomes and completed several short films with them, and performed our first short form improv show in October.
• Been invited to join the brand new ComedySportz Sunday League and have been preparing for the first show on Sunday June 9th 2013 at 8pm:

  

  Come join us at Fuel Cafe, Manchester.

Of course, while I have done a lot over the past year, there are things I still need to work on. I need to be more outgoing, and become a proper person, as it is probably holding me back in certain areas. (Not making it into the ComedySportz Players Main Team for one example - though improv-wise, I'm not sure what else I can do to make this a reality, though I do keep trying, and not making it is getting me down after 3 years.) As an introvert, I do find it draining interacting with people for extended periods of time, but I will have to try and interact with the ComedySportz people outside of workshops. (It has been said that I've been going to workshops for 3 years and they don't know me at all, which I found a little upsetting as I consider them all my friends. I'm betting they'll be disappointed when they find out that this is all there is to me.) So I will have to do better in the future, and make friends with them all, since it's still my goal to make the Main Players. (As they trained me in improv initially and showed me how much fun it could be. Plus they're lovely people). This is especially true if I'm going to go to Australia and will probably have to start from the beginning again there, but I do hope that a ComedySportz background might give me a bit of a head start.

I also need to work on my sketch writing. Even though I'm getting credits on the radio, they are for one-liners and I would love to get a credit for a sketch, as the producers have said that they are looking for sketch writers and if I am to ever be invited in to the Newsjack offices for a Tuesday writing session, or advance at the BBC, I'm going to have to get better at topical sketches. Perhaps if I can do that, I can work on other radio ideas, such as a sitcom, or a film.

So here's to another year of hard work and we'll see what I accomplish by May 1st 2014.

The Big 99!

Does it get more thrilling than this?

Tune in next week to find out!

Same Matt time, same Matt channel.