I Love Matt Fishwick! Fiction and fun with Matt Fishwick

26Oct/120

Friday “Funnies” (Friday 19th to Thursday 25th October 2012)

Rather than see my "jokes" disappear into the social media ether, I thought I'd put them where they will never be lost. Or looked at.

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

  1. You know what they say, red spot on clavical, not nearly radical. Red spot on nose, stop playing with your garden hose, pervert. Or summat.
  2. An amenable rhino gives me the horn.
  3. Just finished a Nick Hornby book. Disappointed, as nowhere did it teach me how to steal a train set.
  4. The number of Facebook event invites I've received over the last few days is disproportionate to how popular I actually am.
  5. I just flashed my Android phone. It called the police.

And the final week of throwing topical material at BBC Radio 4 Extra for Newsjack yeilded the following:

  1. I listened to Adele's Skyfall this morning. It made me feel like a secret agent, especially when I picked my nose whilst at a traffic light.
  2. Scientists at a museum in Oxford attempting to decrypt a 5,000 year old writing system reached a break through this week when they just placed it on a table.
  3. Scientists at a museum in Oxford attempting to decrypt a 5,000 year old writing system reached a break through this week when they found an undelivered parcel behind a nearby Mummy.
  4. The man behind an ambitious 10-year project to build the world's first computer, the Analytical Engine will not use Kickstarter. “It’s steam powered so we probably don’t need one.”
  5. I can’t believe that Ceefax is ending. I Eight, eight, eight this.

And there we have it. That's Newjack over with for another series. Slightly disappointed that I have only managed to write 5 jokes and none of them got on air. Will I continue to write topical humour? Tune in next week to find out!

Check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

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