I Love Matt Fishwick! Fiction and fun with Matt Fishwick


The Best Rejection Ever

So, it's Saturday night when I write this. I've just come back from Manchester where I got drowned walking down Deansgate, but that can't dampen my mood.

I've been rejected quite a lot in my life (Awww!), but this past Thursday I think I received my favourite rejection ever.

As many of you may know, or may know now that I am choosing to tell you, I have written material and submitted it to Newsjack (search my blog for previous posts if you want to know more, or click here). Well this past week saw the start of Series 5 and dutifully I began to write sketches, one liners and corrections as per the submission criteria.

For Series 5, Episode 1 I wrote 2 sketches, 9 one liners and a correction.

I submitted them, and then forgot about it (if you count thinking about them all the time as forgetting) until I returned home after work on Thursday. I loaded up my email and then noticed I had a new email in my Junk folder. Strange, thought I, as I don't normally get junk email on that account.

So I take a look.

The email subject reads: "Newsjack"

Excitedly I open the email.

It's a mass rejection email.

As I've said before in previous posts, if they don't select your material for the show, you never hear from the team.

But I heard from them.

So my material made it to the recording on attempt number 13: Yay!

Then it was cut: Boo! (Unlucky 13)

But it's awesome, because this is the first time that I have ever heard back from them.

The email said my stuff had been recorded but cut for time. This can mean one of two things. At the recording it died and didn't get a laugh, or it was funny but was simply cut for time. I hope it was the second one and not the first, but I'll never know.

So I must be getting better at joke writing. Hurray. In an effort to find out what joke(s) or sketch made it through the selection process (so that I could try to write more in that style) I emailed the Newsjack Team back and simply asked. They were very nice and emailed me back almost straight away.

And so here is the joke (which I can identify as the only "correction" that I wrote that week) that made it through to the recording:

Last week we reported a Brazillian judge had ordered a halt to work on Sao Paulo airport. We were wrong when we said all they had left was a landing strip.

So what does this tell us? Firstly that jokes about lady gardens are funny. And that they almost make it to air on BBC Radio 4 Extra, and that this week I should figure out a way to work "landing strip" into all my gags. But that might be a little easier than done because I'm here writing this blog post instead of working on jokes.

Oh well, you can't have everything.

And remember kids, If I blog about Newsjack again next week it means I might have something on, besides my underpants.

Until next time,


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