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I Love Matt Fishwick! Fiction and fun with Matt Fishwick

15Sep/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday.

Sometimes when you're walking along, and your shopping bag breaks, it is vital that you cradle a bottle of wine like a small child.

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Aw, the get drunk up so fast...

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10Sep/140

Tonight! Birmingham! Improv!

It's tonight.

A free night of some of the finest improv duos making stuff up from your suggestions.

I'm back on the stage with the very talented Lorcan Mullan performing 2prov (aka 2 person improv) as part of the Impromp2 event being held at Cherry Reds in Birmingham next Wednesday, September 10th 2014. The show starts at 7pm, and it's free. So get your laughing gear down there, to see various duos taking to the stage and making stuff up on the spot in a longform extravaganza.

See the Facebook event for more.

Who: Lorcan Mullan & Matt Fishwick. (Other Duos include Claire Corfield & Matt Vaughn-Wilson / Kit Murdock & Aaron Twitchen / Lee Dempsey & Wanda Keenan / Neil Jackson & John Robinson)
What: 2prov (aka 2 person improv teams)
Where: Cherry Reds, 88-90 John Bright Street, Birmingham, United Kingdom, B1 1BN.
Why: To make you laugh and cry.
When: Wednesday September 10th 2014. 7.30pm start (Doors 7pm).
How (Much): For you, FREE, you cheeky scamp!

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8Sep/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday.

It was my mother's birthday recently. Guess which card was from me...

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She'll just have to hold on to it for 40 years.

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7Sep/140

Scottish Referendum: You Decide

My ol' improv pal, stand up comic and writer extraordinaire, Judgement Dave, has written a book about the Scottish Referendum. It's a Choose Your Own Adventure style book where you get to make choices about what happens. (Just like voting, only yours is the only vote that counts.) It's a lot of fun.

It's available on Kindle, whereever Kindle books are sold. (So, Amazon.)

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3Sep/140

Upcoming Improv Gig Alert! (September 2014 Edition)

It's been a bit quiet on the improv front these past few months (my last show was in May).

But fear not, because I'm back on the stage with the very talented Rich Coad performing 2prov (aka 2 person improv) as part of the Impromp2 event being held at Cherry Reds in Birmingham next Wednesday, September 10th 2014. The show starts at 7pm, and it's free. So get your laughing gear down there, to see various duos taking to the stage and making stuff up on the spot in a longform extravaganza.

See the Facebook event for more.

Who: Rich Coad & Matt Fishwick. (Other Duos include Claire Corfield & Matt Vaughn-Wilson / Kit Murdock & Aaron Twitchen / Lee Dempsey & Wanda Keenan)
What: 2prov (aka 2 person improv teams)
Where: Cherry Reds, 88-90 John Bright Street, Birmingham, United Kingdom, B1 1BN.
Why: To make you laugh and cry.
When: Wednesday September 10th 2014. 7pm start (Doors 6:30pm).
How (Much): For you, FREE, you cheeky scamp!

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1Sep/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday.

Now that summer's over and the nights are drawing in, it's time to take advantage of office car park valet service.

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You would think they'd hire someone who can see over the steering wheel, but despite that flaw, he managed to park the car in the space purrfectly.

I'm here all week. (Well, until Wednesday, as I work from home on Thursdays and Fridays.)

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29Aug/140

“Summer” “Funnies”

It's the dog days of summer. So after a summer hiatus from the ol' blog-a-tron, here's some of the things I have written over the summer that have disappeared into the social media ether, and are now granted a chance at a second life:

Presenting a round up of all the "jokes" that I wrote in July and August:

  1. It's difficult to do my Thunderbirds tribute show because of all the strings attached.
  2. I'm 32, so I got my #GCSEresults over 20 years ago. I don't remember much about them. Except failing maths.
  3. So the M6 is going to be a managed motorway. It's about time. It's career hasn't been going anywhere for years.
  4. Stop creating fake jobs! "@BBCNews: Self-employed make up two-thirds of new jobs created since financial crisis http://t.co/pVw3ZQsLAo"
  5. Disappointed to have finally got rid of that cough. It was a great ab workout.
  6. "Do you expect me to talk?"
    "No, Mr Bond. I expect you to professionally cater this banquet for 300."
  7. Finally moved to the Big city. Disappointed to find Josh Baskin doesn't exist.
  8. Spent ages this morning waiting for the little spider on the ceiling to descend, but he never did. Am I to be forever denied my Kirsten Dunst moment?
  9. I can't believe Blockbuster still haven't got back to me about that job I applied for. Ignorant assholes.
  10. Just seen Prince Charles' Ice bucket video. He nominated The Queen. #ByAnyMeansNecessary.
  11. In this hotel, one guest just screamed obscenities through a door at another guest. In my defense, he shouldn't keep me f***ing waiting. The c**t.
  12. There's a mirror opposite this bed. It means I can watch as I do my favourite thing.
    Eating ice cream.
  13. Been all over town, and I can't find a greetings card from the Spite range called "Ha Ha You Have To Go Back To School."
  14. It is 10:20am. My phone is fully charged. I could go anywhere, if I didn't have to be in work.
  15. With a potential Nutella shortage on the way, doctors see panic spread as a low calorie alternative. http://nypost.com/2014/08/18/nutella-shortage-possible-after-hazelnut-crop-wiped-out/
  16. Found the 3G spot of this hotel by perching on the edge of the sofa, naked. No one else in reception seems as excited as me by this.
  17. Saw the non super moon last night. Disappointed it wasn't wearing glasses to hide its super identity.
  18. Is that sound gasses escaping, or does this bottle of Pepsi Max really not want me to reveal its secret?
  19. Q. Why did the homicidal maniac get fired from the sandwich shop?
    A. A multitude of Health & Safety Violations.
  20. Q. Why did the homicidal maniac get fired from the sandwich shop?
    A. He was all killer, no filler.
  21. Going for a W A L K. Had to spell it out, as I don't want to freak myself out about it.
  22. Just got time for a quick #EdFringe Review: He doesn't suit bangs.
  23. I dropped my first album today. Anyone got a dustpan and brush?
  24. This Pepsi Max is making my eyes sting. Lesson learnt. Cola products are not an Optrex substitute.
  25. I'm going to create two fragrances with a Star Wars theme, so we can have a new spin off called the Cologne Wars.
  26. One thing I've learnt on tonight's journey home: The further North you go, the fewer stars each train station is rated with by the citizens of Facebook. Which means one of two things. Either the quality of train stations is poorer in the north, or the people in the south are just easily impressed by shit train stations. And that, my friends, is Jerry Springer's Thought for the Day.
  27. I've got an arse that won't quit. It needs the redundancy.
  28. Just seen a pigeon go past in a checked shirt. Soon they'll all be doing it. But he did it before it was coo
  29. I just kicked a habit. The nun in it wasn't pleased.
  30. Glasgow is "buzzing" ahead of the games. Maybe that's where all the bees went?
  31. The real test of a man is how he reacts to being told by a Travelodge receptionist that he has gravy on his chin.
  32. My video's gone viral. I just sneezed on it.
  33. I don't have an addictive personality. Or so my wife said before she quite easily left me.
  34. I've just left the house. And I've changed my name, so it'll never find me.

See you next time for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

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18Aug/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday!

I've started a bit of a health kick recently.

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This past week, I went for a W A L K. Had to spell it out, as I don't want to freak myself out about it.

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15Aug/140

5th Anniversary Craptacular!

It's the 5th Anniversary Craptacular of I Love Matt Fishwick dot com.

On 15th August 2009, this site came into being. (Scroll back through the pages, if you don't believe me. I'd be glad of the blog hits. So far this website has been visited by upwards of 2 unique users.)

So in keeping with anniversary clip shows, here are my top twelve favourite posts that have been, er, posted over the past 5 years:

01. Lemon Sponge Really Cleans Up Competition (Originally posted 26th September 2009).

02. Marcel Marceau And The Charity Car Wash (Originally posted 25th October 2009).

03. NaNoWriMo 2009: An Orgy Of Words - The Halfway Point Review (Originally posted 14th November 2009).

04. Vote Pedro: Pizza and Politics Edition (Originally posted 25th April 2010) (And its follow up post here).

05. An Apology Letter To A Friend (Originally posted 30th August 2010).

06. On Ice: A Short Story (Originally posted 15th October 2010).

07. Mundane Monday: Live From New York! (Originally posted 8th August 2011).

08. There Are Worse Things I Could Do (originally posted 24th November 2011).

09. My First BBC Radio Credit. (Originally posted 29th March 2012).

10. Neighbour Boy (Originally posted 4th April 2012).

11. Longlisted for 50 Kisses Screenplay Competition (Originally posted 25th July 2012).

12. An Easy Way To Fulfill Your Secret Santa Obligation (Originally posted 12th December 2012).

Of course, there's more to the site that what's listed above. Take a look around, you might find something you like.

There's more to come, too. So stick around. We'll be right back!

Matt.

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13Aug/140

Writing Credit: 4am CAB Podcast – Series 3, Episode 5

My credits go all the way up to 11 now! I scored another writing credit on something that I had no control over.

That's right, I got a sketch in the 5th episode of 4am CAB's 3rd series after getting a couple of credits for series 2 back in the grand old days of yor (aka 2013).

You can see my name up in pixels here.

You can listen to my words in your ears (performed by other people) here.

The episode is called "The Future?"

What does the future hold for me? (Other than this, of course.)

Hopefully more writing credits. With episode 6 of Kirrin Island due for release at some point (which I wrote a couple of sketches for) and another episode remaining in this series of 4am CAB, I hope I've got a shot. (Unless none of my sketches make the final edit, in which case forget I mentioned this.)

Oh, and series 11 of Newsjack is back in the last week of September, too. (According to people at the British Comedy Guide Forum.)

Let's see what happens!

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