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I Love Matt Fishwick! Fiction and fun with Matt Fishwick

16Jul/140

World Cup Wednesday Sketch 2: The Goalquel

It's Wednesday again.

It's no longer the World Cup.

So that can only mean it's time to unleash another World Cup themed sketch!

Get the 2nd sketch in PDF here.

Will I write another sketch about the World Cup now that's consigned to history?

Who knows?

But probably not.

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9Jul/140

What If….?

When writing, to come up with a premise for story, people often ask themselves what if?

With that in mind, I'm going to ask myself a question.

What if Matt, at age 32 and a half, moved to Melbourne, Australia?

Does the premise have a lot of potential?

I guess we'll find out in January 2015.

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27Jun/140

Friday “Funnies” (Friday 20th June to Thursday 26th June 2014)

Rather than see my "jokes" disappear into the social media ether, I thought I'd put them where they will never be lost. Or looked at.

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

  1. I've got a new book out today. It's due back at the library next Tuesday.
    Ha ha. That's a joke. The library closed down years ago.
  2. My defense attorney is amazing. She guessed my favourite song. "You're Unbelievable," she said. Totally going to be found Not Guilty.
  3. It's that rare trifecta this weekend. Glastonbury. The World Cup. Wimbledon. 3 events that I don't care about.
  4. Suarez didn't *bite* a member of the Italian team. He *auditioned* to be new McGruff the crime dog. Stereotyping Italians as criminals is wrong, though.
  5. Suarez is obviously trying to branch out into comedy by following the Rule of 3.

See you next week for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

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25Jun/140

World Cup Wednesday Sketch

It's Wednesday.

It's the World Cup.

So that can only mean it's time to unleash a World Cup themed sketch.

Get the sketch in PDF here.

Goal, or some such thing.

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23Jun/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday!

When the sewer pirate uprising happens, and it will, we'll kick ourselves that we didn't see the signs that were already on the streets:

wpid-imag1936.jpg

Be vigilant, people.

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20Jun/140

Friday “Funnies” (Friday 13th June to Thursday 19th June 2014)

Rather than see my "jokes" disappear into the social media ether, I thought I'd put them where they will never be lost. Or looked at.

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

  1. My suspicions were aroused, but now they're really tired and just want to go to sleep.
  2. Just seen vet put down a dog. The way they deal with heckling at this comedy club's serious. How's the noisy blind guy supposed to get home?
  3. Staycation Day 2. 3.20pm. Made it to the living room. I think that deserves a nap as a reward.

See you next week for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

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18Jun/140

“Witty” “Wednesday”

Finished my drink ages ago, but I'm beginning to get the feeling John Peel isn't coming:

image

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16Jun/140

Mundane Monday

It's Mundane Monday.

I've got the day off work, so I'm going to be drawing up my business plans to open the best Italian Eatery in town. I've already found the perfect location for it, in the former home of BlockBuster video:

image

I'm going to call it Papa Mario's.

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13Jun/140

Friday “Funnies” (Friday 6th June to Thursday 12th June 2014)

Rather than see my "jokes" disappear into the social media ether, I thought I'd put them where they will never be lost. Or looked at.

Presenting a round up of all the jokes that I wrote this week:

  1. "Minds Changed" on Snap school inspections according to BBC. Crackle and Pop appear to be in the clear.
  2. At a carvery. This Bottomless Pepsi drink is a lie. I've had to refill the glass twice.
  3. Mistakenly bought some baby clothes. Can't send them back, so I'm going to have to wait 18 years before they're big enough to wear. They'd better not keep me up all night, either.
  4. Bought some baby clothes. They're going to keep me up all night, aren't they?
  5. I can't say enough. It's easy to type, though.
  6. If the shoe fits, it probably needs a higher dose of Epilim.
  7. Apparently, it's not the done thing to shout "Goodnight, John Boy" down the corridor of a Travelodge. I never heard replies like that on Walton's Mountain.
  8. Today I have used 60 Megs. I hope I was able to leave at least some of them satisfied.
  9. Sick of all this so called "Official" World Cup Merchandise. It's clearly fake, people. They've spelled Brazil with an s.
  10. Star Wars spin off to be shot in the UK. And yet, even with all this advance warning, it won't be given police protection.
  11. Coldplay just beat me at a game of Tetris. They were all yellow.
  12. Got online directions to a Carvery, but thanks to a predictive text mishap, I've ended up in a place where everyone's wearing shorts.
  13. Float like a butterfly, sting like a B in Maths.
  14. Tongue Twister. The low budget follow up to the Bill Paxton / Helen Hunt classic.
  15. Off to play Touch Rugby tonight. Might take a while, Google maps says it's quite far away.
  16. What have I learnt after spending years on the radio? Balance, mostly.
  17. It's taken 4 years, but the World Cup is finally on. It must be protecting some pretty huge testicles.
  18. Ronaldo's left Portugal training after 15 mins with an ice pack on his knee. Wish the ice pack would decide what it wants for Xmas already.
  19. I think I just did a football joke. Though I don't know who Ronaldo is or if Portugal even exists.
  20. I'm the coolest* guy in the room.
    *Closest to the air conditioner.**
    **I'm also home alone.
  21. I'm watching a "documentary" about the Stone Roses. It's all a lie. They're actually made of flesh and blood, not stones at all.
  22. This Stone Roses documentary is disappointing so far. Thought it was going to be the full line up, but I've not seen Johnny Marr anywhere. But the guy they've got subbing for Morrissey is an improvement, though.

See you next week for more hilarity, or check my Twitter feed and see me "live" tweet them.

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11Jun/140

Upcoming Improv Gig: Wow Impro – On The Spot Comedy Improv – Friday 13th June 2014

This week, the Wow Impro crew is back on the scene in Coventry to entertain you. And with me not performing this month, entertainment is guaranteed!

This is a Friday night 2 hour show at Esquires Coffee House, Coventry Transport Museum, CV1 1JD Coventry, United Kingdom.

EsquiresPic

So come on down to Esquires on Friday 13th June 2014.

Start your weekend right with a double shot of improv goodness with your comedy baristas:

Rich Coad,
Sarah Coad,
Richard Baldwin,
Lorcan Mullan.

FREE show. Show starts at 7pm, finishes at 9pm. Completely family friendly.

Come along and bring your friends!

It'll be great!

Facebook event.

Map:

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